Defeating the ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ Factor!

I’ve been based in NYC a while now and I think a lot about the ‘Carrie Bradshaw Factor’.

There is an increasing trend of individuals in the 23-34 age group (women especially), that are flocking to the city in hopes of the fantasy life of posh evenings out, gorgeous men and unique job opportunities.  Instead, they are finding themselves broke, single and feeling ‘stuck in the city’. I also had fallen into that trap and found myself unhappy, frustrated and overweight.  Given such, it’s important to find ways you can incorporate the city life you’re craving, without having to settle, feel added pressure or let down.  Follow these fast and simple tips to amplify your city chic experience!

Date a human, not a fantasy!

Let go of some of the high standards set for the perfect partner.  It’s a lot of pressure to put on the other person on a first date! This is the time to relax and have fun. Be open to the possibilities and remember that often times you don’t always know what’s best for you. You might be surprised and find more than what you thought you were looking for!  Or at best, make a great new friend.

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No one talks about all those late night liquid calories!

The more fun and colorful a cocktail, the more chance of racking up the pounds. Limit yourself to just one of these drinks when out on the town. Sip slowly and actually savor it. Switch to a cleaner drink, such as vodka club and alternate water in between cocktails. Also, remember why you are out! Develop a relationship with the friends you are with and potentially meeting new people, not a love affair with a daiquiri.

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Become a confident, fearless go getter!

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking people are watching your every move. Realize that what others think of you is none of your business. Follow your gut instinct and see it through. You have to live with your decisions and it allows you to develop a better relationship with yourself. You come across as more poised and self-reliant, which will attract more positive experiences and people into your world.

Have a tip for easily being fabulous in the city? I’d love to know! Share with a  comment below!

What’s in a name??

:: drumroll please…:: 

Welcome to the New You City Coaching Blog!!  I’m Danielle Mercurio and I am SO excited to see you here.

So, what’s this “New You City” concept all about anyway?  You may have heard of life coaching, but either don’t have all the facts or think of it as this ‘woo woo’ type of field.  Essentially, it’s an amazing new platform for individuals to step up and find clarity, solve problems, and figure out how to live the life that they had once dreamed of.  We’ve all had dreams or stories of what life would be like when we grew up one day.  So… are you are living out those inspirations now?  Or were they squashed along the way and deemed as ridiculous or impractical?  Or maybe you were given new ideas to implement, ones that weren’t your own but a guaranteed move to “play it safe”?  Let’s ponder on that a moment…

Okay, back to this notion of coaching.  It’s a growing field and trending more and more, especially in major cities and among celebrities.  Every coach has their own approach and style, and I can only attest to what I do.  And that’s being a source of service for YOU.  My goal is to inspire you to become the confident, capable and genuine self that I just KNOW is waiting to come out!

Isn’t it just like therapy you say?  I know I’m not crazy… That’s right, you aren’t crazy!  And coaching is a different experience than therapy.  It’s about taking what isn’t working for you in the present moment, pulling it apart and then re-piecing it together so you can move forward.  Have you ever had that moment where you are swiping your subway metrocard and instead of going ahead, you get hit with the hard steel bar of the turnstile?  You turn to find that the card balance is empty and watch as everyone else moves through the barriers effortlessly.  You search in your bag and realize you left your money on the kitchen table.  Ugh!  Basically, you’re stuck.  You know you need to go uptown, but you have no time to spare and don’t have the resources to do it.  That’s where I swoop in to assist!  No matter the issue, I work with you to find tactics and solutions to get you from being stuck to where you want to go.  By staying on YOUR agenda and holding YOU accountable, together we find a way to continue on your path.

I know it’s a crazy, overstimulated world out there and you’re just trying to do the best you can.  It can be hard when you see your friends and family forge ahead in their careers, find love or buy a home, and you feel like you can’t even pay your cell phone bill on time.  With social media all around us, it’s easy to get caught up in assumptions and feel like we aren’t measuring up.  Know that those are just constricting beliefs, and that you can live your life not only the way you want to, but are meant to.

Again, why me?  Why am I qualified to help you? Because I have SO been there before.  I stood back and watched the world seemingly evolve and thrive, while I felt paralyzed by my lack of not knowing what my next steps should be.  I felt that I had to go about life in a certain way and I would be letting others down if I didn’t proceed in the fashion that was indicated as “best” for me.  The more I tried to please others, the more I felt lost and unhappy.  I feared letting anyone know my problems and put on a good front instead.  I was constantly looking for validation and approval, so much so that I was dependent on it.  I wanted something magical to happen and to wake up and be like everyone else.  I was always second guessing and constantly beating myself up for my lack of know how.  I stopped taking care of myself.  I had regular threesomes with Ben & Jerry, bought far too many shoes, and didn’t understand the concept of re-corking a bottle of wine.  All these outer things were just to try to create an escape from my reality.  I longed to live the life that everyone else was, though I didn’t even have a clear understanding of what that meant.  It wasn’t until certain circumstances came in to play that made me realize I had to make a change.  I had to learn how to become my own ally or I would slowly lose sight of everything.

In time, with much trial & error, gentle discipline and kindness, my true self started to show.  I could rely on myself for once!  I was in charge, running the show!  It was effing awesome.  I felt incredibly empowered and it built my confidence in ways I didn’t know existed.  I found my purpose, I have goals and I am more equipped to face challenges.  I’ve attracted people and situations into my life that I’m more than grateful for.  I now live life on my terms and that’s what I want for you too.  I’ll show you the strategies that it took for me to discover my independent and authentic self.   Things do not have to be hard and I believe that you deserve to be happy.

Now, isn’t it time to get over what you “should” be doing and start creating your own desires?  How much longer to do you want to keep going through the motions, day by day, week after week?

You can be anything you want to be, I promise you.  You have everything you need and my role is to support you and be there when you discover it.  Now is the time to do so!

Post your comments below and sign up to receive updates.  I’ll be providing a multitude of tips and new approaches every week for your benefit!  Again, I am so happy you are here and I cannot wait to hear from you!

There are definitely some fun times ahead here at New You City Coaching and for you as well!  Let’s start turning those dreams into reality.